Boundaries

A friend loaned me this book last week and it has totally revolutionized the way I look at myself, others and God. The book is by Christian psychologists and inspirational speakers Dr. Henry Cloud & John Townsend. The authors showed me that I, in the name of being a good Christian, have drawn overly flexible boundaries (unwilling/unable to say no, always accomodating others' needs). This is not healthy because having clear boundaries is essential to a balanced lifestyle. It defines a boundary as a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible. In other words, boundaries define who we are and who we are not. They discuss the various types of boundaries: Physical boundaries help us determine who may touch us, mental boundaries give us the freedom to have our own thoughts, emotional boundaries help us to deal with our own emotions and spiritual boundaries help us to distinguish God's will from our own.

I also learned the importance of responding instead of reacting when someone says something hurtful. Responding is having self-control of your emotion while reacting is saying something in the "heat" of the moment.

This book is not about changing others. It is about changing yourself and your perspective. It is not about manipulating others with control but about giving others freedom (including yourself) to be who God made them. This book has changed my life. I don't say that lightly...I have always been a people-pleaser, but have always wanted to focus on pleasing God but it seemed the two wouldn't mix. Jesus said that a person cannot serve two masters...(s)he will either love the one and hate the other. I still want to love people, but I want to serve God...not man. I hope this makes sense.

Here's to freedom and letting God have control of my life...

--by (His) grace